New Hampshire senate passes gay marriage bill

Yesterday the New Hampshire Senate passed a revised HB 436 that would allow same-sex couples to marry in New Hampshire. The bill differs from the bill the House passed, in that it makes a distinction between civil and religious marriage, and states that any couple is allowed to obtain a civil marriage. The bill is expected to be on the desk of Governor John Lynch later today or tomorrow. Governor Lynch has previously stated that he believes traditional marriage is best, although it remains to been seen whether he will veto it.

Co-parenting tips from a single dad

I seem to be blogging a lot lately about co-parenting issues. In a search today on google for co-parenting communication ideas, I came across a blog titled Dad's House: Dating & Parenting by a Single Dad. David Mott recently posted Co-Parenting - How to Deal with an Ex. As a single dad who has been co-parenting his children with his ex for nine years, David offers tips on co-parenting. They are basic rules of engagement that should be followed in any co-parenting relationship, and are the rules that are offered throughout the blogosphere and by parenting experts across the country. David lists the following rules:

  • Do what’s in the best interest of your kids

  • Don’t talk down to each other

  • Do treat the co-parenting as a business relationship Don’t fight in front of the kids

  • Do use email

  • Don’t badmouth the other parent in front of the kids .

  • Do communicate 

Arguments, fights, blow-ups and disagreements will happen in every relationship, especially parents who have split up. (probably for good reason). However, if both parents can follow the rules of engagement, maintain a business like tone and keep lines of communication open, your kids will be healthier and happier for it. In the end, David reminds, focus on co-parenting and practice the basics.

If you would like more information regarding basic co-parenting concepts and rules, single mommy and daddy blogs abound with similar tips.  Jennifer Wolf gives similar advice in planning coparenting meetings at Tips for Succesful Co-Parenting Meetings. Aside from blogs, check out the Co-Parenting Surivival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict After a Difficult Divorce by Dr. Elizabeth and Dr. Jeffrey Zimmerman, the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension's Co-Parenting After Divorce.

I/M/O Lynn: Returning to school may be a substantial change in circumstances to modify child support

Once a child support order has been approved by the court the modification statute, NH RSA 458- C:7, allows for a petition to modify the child support order after three (3) years have passed. If one party petitions for a modification before the three year mark they must show a substantial change in circumstances that makes continuing the original order improper and unfair.

The NH supreme court released an opinion on In the Matter of Lynn and Lynn on April 24, 2009 which deals with the substantial change in circumstances standard. In this case, when the Mother and Father got divorced, two children began residing with Father and one child with Mother. Mother became obligated to pay child support at a rate that deviated from the guidelines due to her limited income. Less than 3 years later, Mother petitioned to modify her child support obligation because she had been accepted to nursing school and was going to have to work part-time. The court granted the modification and ceased all obligations to pay child support.

The trial court specifically found that the Mother’s income while in school was a substantial change in circumstances and that even though the Mother is voluntarily underemployed it is only one factor to consider whether or not modification is warranted.

The Father appealed the decision to discontinue child support. The Father argued that by choosing to go to nursing school the Mother was voluntarily underemployed and therefore she should still be required to pay the child support. The NH Supreme Court held that the trial court followed the statute and therefore the trial court did not err in modifying the child support.

However, the court warned that this particular case is not meant to imply that a parent is entitled to reduced child support obligation whenever the parent has voluntarily reduced his/her income to attend school. The court mused that there could be circumstances when a parent goes back to school voluntarily and even with decreased income they must still pay the initial child support amount.

Marisa L. Ulloa, Crusco Law Office, PLLC Law Clerk, contributed to this post.

Parenting coordinator for high-conflict parents

During the pendency of a divorce or parenting petition, when communication between parents breaks down, parents often go to their attorneys or the guardian ad litem to resolve conflicts regarding parenting issues. However, when the dust settles, the case is over and the attorneys and GAL are no longer involved, parents are left to resolve conflicts on their own. Often high-conflict parents will end up back in court over issues that they cannot agree upon.

As an alternative to heading back to court, parents should consider hiring a parenting coordinator who can assist them in resolving disputes and implementing their parenting plan. The parenting coordinator can also work with the parents on developing more effective communication skills, collaborative parenting methods and problem solving techniques. The parenting coordinator is not counseling, a guardian ad litem investigation, or a parenting education course.

The Parenting Coordinators Association of New Hampshire lists a few dozen professionals, including attorneys and mental health professionals, who serve as parenting coordinators. PCANH website provides the following information about the parenting coordinator process:

The Parenting Coordinator will typically meet with the parents, individually and/or jointly. The parents’ concerns will be identified, the family situation will be assessed with the aid of court orders and documents, and a course of action will be identified, including the setting of specific goals for resolution of conflicting issues. Emails and phone calls are used to assist the parents' work toward the goals. Additional individual or joint meetings may be scheduled and other people with information may be contacted.

For more information about parenting coordinators, the process and the price, check out the PCANH's list of FAQs.

How do I relocate with my children out of state?

Q: I have primary residential responsibility for my children, and I want to move out of state with them, what do I need to do to move?

A: The relocation statute (NH RSA 461-A:12) requires that the relocating parent shall provide reasonable notice to the other parent of the move. While “reasonable notice” may vary depending on special factors present in your case, in most cases 60 days is presumed reasonable notice. This notice requirement applies in all parenting rights and responsibilities cases unless specifically addressed otherwise in the parties’ existing order or agreement. However, it does not apply when the relocation will move the parent and children closer to the other parent or within the same school district.

 

If the non-relocating parent objects, the court will hold a hearing on the matter at the request of either parent. Often, the court will appoint a guardian ad litem to investigate the issues and make a recommendation to the court regarding the relocation.

 

In order for the relocating parent’s request to be approved, that parent must show that their relocation is for a legitimate purpose and that the proposed relocation is reasonable in light of that purpose. In other words, if the relocating parent is moving to be near her family that lives in Florida, the proposed move should be to Florida and not North Dakota. A legitimate purpose may be for a variety of different reasons, including economic opportunities such as employment or the ability to be self-supportive, to be close to a support network of friends and family, or for an educational opportunity for the parent or children.

 

If the relocating parent proves, by a preponderance of the evidence (more probable than not), that the relocation is for a legitimate purpose, then the burden shifts to the non-relocating parent who must show the court that the proposed relocating is not in the best interests of the children. Even if the relocating parent has a legitimate purpose, and is not moving for nefarious purposes such as interfering in the other parent’s relationship with the children, the court may find that it is not in the children’s best interests and deny to relocation.

 

When considering the relocation, the court may consider several factors enumerated in the NH Supreme Court cases Tomasko and Pfeuffer:

 

·         Each parent’s reasons for seeking or opposing the move;

·         The quality of the relationships between the child and the custodial and noncustodial parents;

·         The impact of the move on the quantity and quality of the child's future contact with the noncustodial parent;

·         The degree to which the custodial parent’s and child’s life may be enhanced economically, emotionally, and educationally by the move;

·         The feasibility of preserving the relationship between the noncustodial parent and child through suitable visitation arrangements;

·         Any negative impact from continued or exacerbated hostility between the custodial and noncustodial parents; and

·         The effect that the move may have on any extended family relations.

 

No single factor is presumed to be dispositive, and the court may consider additional factors as the case demands.