When a parent desires to relocate, whether across the state or across the country, it can raise difficult issues for the children and the parenting schedule. This video highlights the standard for relocation set forth in NH RSA 461-A:12 and the issues encountered in petitioning for or defending against a request to relocate. 

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Before your final trial, the court will conduct a pretrial hearing. Learn here what will happen at the hearing and what needs to be prepared and filed at the hearing. 

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I am always surprised when a potential client comes in to meet with me and says “there’s no such thing as alimony in New Hampshire, right?” Be assured, there is alimony in New Hampshire. 

Alimony is governed by RSA 458:19. The law says that the recipient must have the need for alimony, and the payor must have the ability to pay. The alimony award must take into account the lifestyle of the parties during the marriage. In determining the amount of alimony, the court must consider the length of the marriage; the age, health, social or economic status, occupation, amount and sources of income, the property awarded to either party, vocational skills, employability, estate, liabilities, and needs of each of the parties; the opportunity of each for future acquisition of capital assets and income; the fault of either party as defined in RSA 458:16-a, II(l); and the federal tax consequences of the order.

Things to know about alimony:

  • Alimony is gender neutral. Men and women can receive alimony.
  • The court has broad discretion when awarding alimony, and there is no formula in New Hampshire for either an amount or a term.
  • Alimony cannot be waived in a divorce stipulation. The law provides either spouse with the right to petition for alimony within 5 years of the date of the divorce decree, or if alimony has been ordered for a definite time period, within 5 years from the date of the last payment.
  • Alimony is tax deductible to the payor, and is taxable income to the recipient.
  • The primary purpose of alimony is rehabilitative, meaning the support is intended to allow the recipient time to become self-supporting. However, the court has the authority to order alimony for an indefinite period of time where appropriate.
  • Agreements that contain a provision for the payment of alimony often include language about the terminating alimony upon the recipient’s remarriage or cohabitation with a romantic partner. 

Since 2004, the New Hampshire family courts lacked authority to order a parent to pay for college expenses, with the exception of enforcing orders and agreements made prior to 2004. As it was written then, RSA 461-A:14 (V) provided that “no child support order shall require a parent to contribute to an adult child’s college expenses or other educational expenses beyond the completion of high school.” The New Hampshire Supreme Court later held in Goulart that the family court did not have subject matter jurisdiction to approve an agreement between to parents for the payment of college expenses.

 

Recent changes in the law now allow the family court to approve an agreement that provides for the payment of educational expenses beyond high school by one or both parents. Beginning on October 1, 2013, RSA 461-A:21 provides the family court with jurisdiction to approve and enforce new agreements for payment of college and educational expenses. Specifically:  

Parents may agree to contribute to their child’s college expenses or other educational expenses beyond the completion of high school as part of a stipulated decree, signed by both parents and approved by the court. The agreed-on contribution may be made by one or both parents. The agreement may provide for contributions to an account to save for college, for the use of an asset, or for payment of educational expenses as incurred. Any such agreement shall specify the amount of the contribution, a percentage, or a formula to determine the amount of the contribution.

The new divorce decree court form provides sample language for an agreement in paragraph 4. However, the parenting decree court form has not been updated yet to include similar language, so parties will have to adapt their own if they want to include arrangements for college expenses. Parties must agree on whether the agreement is or is not modifiable based upon a substantial change in circumstances. The court form also requires parties to attend mediation before the court will hear a petition to modify or enforce an agreement on college expenses.  

This change is great news for New Hampshire parents. It allows parents to negotiate agreements based on their mutual shared interest in higher education for their children. Furthermore, parents can rely on their agreement and enforce when necessary. At the same time, parents who cannot agree are on equal footing with married parents and cannot be forced to pay for college for their children. 

I have received many questions about the similarities and differences between a surrender of parental rights and a termination of parental rights. While the end result is often the same when the parental rights and responsibilities of a parent are permanently severed, there many differences to be aware of. 

Similarities

• Both are proceedings that can end in the permanent severing of all parental rights and responsibilities of a parent.

• Parents who are surrendering or may have their parental rights terminated are entitled to an attorney, and if they cannot afford one the court will appoint an attorney to represent them.

• Both proceedings are confidential.

Differences

• In a surrender of parental rights, all the parties agree to terminate the rights of a parent; a termination of parental rights can be either contested or uncontested. A TPR petition does not always result in a termination of one or both parents parental rights. 

• A parent in a surrender is entitled to counseling at the expense of the petitioning party about the parent’s decision to place the child up for adoption.

• The court is required to appoint a guardian ad litem to represent the best interests of the child in a termination proceeding; a surrender petition does not require the appointment of a guardian ad litem.

• A surrender of parental rights requires that there be a pending adoption, where a termination of parental rights does not. An adoption does not always follow a termination of parental rights case.  

• A termination proceeding requires that the court make a finding, beyond a reasonable doubt, that grounds exist to terminate the parental rights of a parent and that it is in the best interests of the child. A surrender does not require such findings, only the agreement of the parties that the surrender take place.

• TPR cases are heard in the Circuit Court- Family Division, and surrender cases are either in the Circuit Court – Family Division or the Circuit Court – Probate Division depending on the specific facts of the case.

New Hampshire collaborative practice employs an interdisciplinary model, which is fancy for saying that the professional team includes attorneys, a coach and a financial neutral. When the topic of hiring a coach comes up, I sometimes receive this feedback:

  • Why do we need a coach?
  • I already have a therapist, isn’t that the same thing?
  • It’s another expense in the process. 
  • Let’s see how it goes without one and we can always hire one later. 

I intended to write a thorough and thoughful post about the need for a coach, and then found this article Do You Really Need a Divorce Coach in the Collaborative Process? by Helene Taylor. I really can’t say it better myself, and it answers all the frequently asked questions. It’s a must read if you are considering a collaborative divorce. I especially love her explanation of the difference between a therapist and a divorce coach:

A therapist is someone you bring your luggage to and she helps you open it up and decipher the contents; a divorce coach is someone you bring your luggage to and, without opening it, she helps you carry it across the street.

From my attorney perspective, a coach helps me do my job better and reach the end result quicker. The coach, who is far better trained in the emotional aspects of a divorce than I am, can facilitate the emotional discussions and keep lines of communication between the parties open so that the legal discussions can be more productive.

For more information about collaborative divorce, check out the information video from the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. You can also download a free Collaborative Divorce Knowledge Kit. 

Unbundled legal services, also known as limited scope representation, allow you to hire a lawyer to do certain parts of your case, instead of the traditional soup to nuts representation. Some clients choose unbundled services because they cannot afford full representation, and some advice is better than no advice. Other clients feel capable of handling certain parts of the case, but need assistance with other portions.

Unbundled services can be customized to fit your needs, and can include

  • Representation at a specific hearing, such as a temporary hearing
  • Draft proposed orders or pleadings
  • Attending mediation
  • Assisting with discovery preparations
  • Consulting during your case to provide assistance and advice  

Payment arrangements for unbundled services can be tailored to the specific service. For example, paying a small retainer for ongoing advice, or paying for an hour at the end of a meeting to prepare documents.

Lawyers providing unbundled services will ask the client to sign a consent form that clearly spells out what services are, and are not, going to be provided, in addition to a fee agreement. 

I had the pleasure of being interviewed by David Brooks of the Nashua Telegraph for the article Same-sex divorces are a tiny but growing part of New Hampshire. As I observed, the reasons in a gay or lesbian divorce, and the emotions that come with it, are no different than any opposite-sex divorce. The differences come from the legal issues created by DOMA and other states who fail to recognize same-sex marriage. 

I learned something new from David, who was the first person to obtain same-sex divorce statistics from the State of New Hampshire. By the numbers:

Marriages                          Divorces

Female couples                                     1,628                                  61

Male couples                                           623                                     23 

Opposite-sex couples                            26,718                              15,222

The article also includes an interesting side note about the male/female ratios of marriages and divorces in New Hampshire same-sex couples. 

As of last month , New Hampshire has seen 1,628 female couples get married, which is 2½ times as many as the 623 male couples who have gotten married.

Over that same period, 61 female couples have gotten divorced, separated or had their marriage annulled – also 2½ times the figure for males, 23.

A part of our discussion that did not make it into the article was David’s question about whether my practice was devoted solely to these gay and lesbian divorce and parenting matters. While it is an interesting area of the law that I enjoy practicing in, my hope is that DOMA will soon be overturned and there won’t be any difference in the near future. Although I currently handle a large number of same-sex cases, it would be silly to exclusively devote to a law practice to an area of the law that will eventually no longer exist when marriage equality is achieved.